It’s an awful road to go down, but let’s do it anyway.

Do you ever wonder what would have happened had you arrived home a little earlier? Said a more supportive thing? Maybe forced your loved one to get help?

So many what if’s. I wonder why he chose that day. I wonder why he used the gun I bought him. I wonder why he couldn’t have stopped to think about us, if not his children, before he pulled that trigger.

I wonder what decided that decision. He had bought cigarettes and energy drinks for work the next day. Between his plan for the following day and the moments between, he decided to end his life.

It’s not a rational action and so there are no rational answers. Even so….I wish I knew.

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